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Is Your Life Out of Balance?
Take these steps to regain your footing.
Late for dinner with friends again? Beating yourself up because you forgot snacks for your kid’s soccer team? Or is your out–of–control to–do list keeping you away from the gym and up all night with worry? It’s astounding how quickly our lives tumble off–kilter. “When you start feeling tired, irritable, tense or resentful more often than you feel relaxed, content and happy, it’s time to reassess your life and priorities,” says psychologist and life coach Jessica Hinz, Ph.D., co–author of Learn to Balance Your Life: A Practical Guide to Having It All. Tipping life’s scale in your favor takes effort but the payoff — a happier, healthier you — is huge. Take these steps to regain your footing.
Plan your days. Optimize your time by breaking your day into manageable chunks — say before work, at work, family time and “me time” — with a short must–do list for each section. To ensure that these lists are helpful and not overwhelming, Dr. Hinz suggests asking yourself: “Do I really need to do this?” If the answer’s yes, then ask, “Is there someone who can help me?” Not sure you want to commit? Sleep on it.
Make time to play. If you can’t seem to find time to do the things you love best — like gardening, painting or reading — join a group, such as a book or knitting club. It might seem crazy to commit more of your time to others, but doing so forces you to spend time pursuing a passion. “Ask yourself: What would I do with my time if I could fill it only with things that give my life meaning, passion and purpose? And then communicate your desires to those who can help you achieve them,” suggests life coach Caroline Adams Miller, author of Creating Your Best Life.
Unplug. “Tweets, calls, e–mails and other distractions pull you away from what’s important,” says Miller. “You become an ’absent presence’ in the lives of those who matter most — your family and friends.” The solution is simple, yet difficult for many: Silence that phone at important family gatherings, stop checking e–mail after a certain hour, and don’t feel pressed to get back to everyone right away.
Kiss guilt good–bye. Just because your friend called at the last minute and begged you to go to the movies doesn’t mean you have to give up your plan to curl up with a good book. Don’t allow feelings of guilt or obligation to steal away your coveted downtime. “Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing,” says Gretchen Larson–Skoog, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and life coach at the Center for Life Balance in Chicago. “You need to take care of yourself before you can tend to others.”
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