A Family Affair
Smart strategies for planning your next reunion
A gathering of family members can be a great opportunity for relatives to catch up with one another, trade stories and reaffirm familial ties. When organizing your next reunion, help make things run more smoothly with these tips from Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D., a nationally recognized etiquette expert, and Catherine Hastings, Ph.D., a Lancaster, Pa.-based marriage and family therapist.
Plan ahead as much as possible. If you have family members who will have to travel to attend the event, send an e-mail asking everyone to hold the date, and then follow up with a mailed invitation at least a couple of months before the occasion.
Set some ground rules. Whether it’s an uncle who becomes loud when he’s had a bit too much to drink or a cousin who thinks nothing of chain-smoking in your living room, head off trouble at the pass by taking that person aside and telling him or her in a direct but friendly manner about what behavior you expect in your home or at the reunion venue.
Neutralize conflicts. As the organizer, it is your responsibility to let any feuding family members know who’s coming, so they can decide whether they want to attend. During the reunion, if a discussion gets too heated — with clashes over anything from politics to whose potato salad is better — step in and point out how great it is to have a family that is so diverse and can share different opinions.
Be a good hostess. During the event, survey the party and make sure everyone is engaged and enjoying the party. Reintroduce family members who haven’t seen one another in a long time. Help your kids be good hosts too. Brief your children on family members they may not be familiar with, and suggest ways they may find a connection and topics for conversation.
Be mindful of the cost. If your family traditionally splits the bill for reunion venues such as restaurants or rented halls, try not to stray too far from previous budgets since some family members may not be able to afford the extra cost.
Prepare for every age. If you’re planning an outdoor event such as a picnic, make sure you have plenty of tables, chairs and shade for older family members — preferably in an area where they can sit and talk and watch what’s going on. Also consider enlisting teenage family members to set up a fun activity for the little ones.
Above all, try to have fun. As the host, you set the tone. If you are relaxed and appear happy to be at the party, your family will follow suit.
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