Too-Great Expectations
Parenting expert Stacy DeBroff on the benefits of setting realistic goals for your children.
Creating realistic expectations for your child’s academic performance will not only enable your child to thrive in school but also set him on a course toward becoming a passionate, lifelong learner.
Before the start of the school year, encourage your child to talk about his fears. Respond by letting him know how you and he will approach those concerns together. A child’s anxiety level decreases as he familiarizes himself with new teachers, classmates and subjects, but even the most outgoing, confident child may feel nervous. Do your best to be available to listen if your child has a problem, and be ready to let him drop some extracurricular activities if he seems overwhelmed.
Try managing your child’s expectations for the coming year by impressing on him that each new grade will mean more challenges — increased amounts of work, greater complexity and higher expectations. Research shows that children’s passion for learning steadily decreases from third through ninth grades. For many kids, this may be because they breeze through early grades, not expecting the next year to pose more of a challenge than the last.
Ultimately you want your child to be able to work through his frustration when he encounters obstacles. Mistakes and setbacks are an essential part of learning and can be a stimulus for improvement. It is important to show understanding when reacting to a poor report card, even if you feel disappointed. Whether it’s a slight improvement or a grade for which your child worked hard, always look for something positive to comment on first, as this attention can encourage your child to continue his progress. Then talk with your child about what went wrong. It is important to remember that one bad grade or problematic report card does not spell lifelong academic failure.
To help both you and your child deal with new challenges, remember that motivation is the most reliable predictor of success in school. Instill the belief that wisdom comes from effort, not innate ability, but allow your child to do what comes naturally. Also pay particular attention to the messages you send your child about what you value. Ultimately the most important goal should be to raise a child who loves to learn.
About the author: Stacy DeBroff is president and founder of Mom Central, a company devoted to providing pragmatic tips and savvy advice to strengthen busy families and enhance the home environment.
Rate this article:
Post a Tip or Comment
SHARE
