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The Law of the Jungle Gym
Bullying is a serious issue. There are plenty of horror stories about what can happen to a child who lives in fear and suffers abuse at the hands of a peer. Without intervention, bullying can leave a child’s self-esteem devastated for years. Therefore, it is important to be able to recognize when your child is the victim of a bully. It is equally important to recognize and acknowledge if your child is bullying other children.
What to do if you are a parent of a child being bullied
- Being the victim of a bully can be embarrassing for a child, so bringing up the subject subtly is a good approach. For example, relate a story of when you were bullied.
- Encourage your child to talk about his feelings. Start the conversation by conveying to him that being the target of a bully is not his fault and be sure to point out that the very things that make him different and stand out from his peers now are actually unique gifts that will contribute to his success as an adult.
- Share with your child some common-sense approaches for dealing with bullies: avoiding the places where he was singled out and staying with a buddy, when possible. Above all, let him know that he won’t be bullied forever.
- If the bullying becomes very serious and you sense danger, then follow your instincts. Talk to your child’s teacher or principal and intervene when necessary.
- Some children bully to give themselves a boost in self-esteem. Other times, it may be that the child is accustomed to being berated or bullied himself; this behavior may seem “normal” to him. Remind your child that this is not acceptable behavior.
- Have your child put himself in someone else’s shoes. How would he feel if someone was bullying him? This will show him the value of treating others the way he wants to be treated. It will help teach him empathy, a skill used throughout life.
- Take note of how your child behaves going forward, and make sure to praise his efforts when you see his behavior improving.
What to do if your suspect your child of bullying:
About the author: Sharon Fried Buchalter, Ph.D., is a distinguished clinical psychologist, family/marriage therapist, relationship expert, hypnotherapist and best-selling author. Her new book New Parents Are People Too provides relationship advice for couples entering parenthood for the first time. Dr. Sharon is also the author of Children Are People Too. Both of Dr. Sharon's books are winners of the prestigious iParenting media awards. Dr. Sharon’s website is peopletoounlimited.com. You can email Dr. Sharon at askdoctorsharon@yahoo.com.
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