These busy days we all find it hard to make time for ourselves. But working moms may have it toughest of all. Too often, they feel they just can’t take the time they so desperately need. Curious to know how different moms handle the issue? Listen in on this real-life discussion between working moms.

Do you get time for yourself?

Qubilah: My mom was an excellent role model; she took time for herself. So you do that — you need to.

Judy: I don't really get just “me time”... It’s funny, I crave time with my daughter because I work full time and when I’m home, I crave just a little time alone.

Kywani: I take my time after work. That’s my time to myself to go shopping or whatever.

Carolyn: My commute time has become my time for myself. It’s the only time I can read a book, read the paper, take a nap.

Do you ever feel guilty about wanting time for you?

A chorus: All the time.

Carolyn: My husband will offer to, say, take the kids to the doctor, and I'll think, “I’m the mother, I should do this.” I still almost need to hear it from my husband, that it’s okay to take time for myself.

Judy: That’s it. Unless someone tells me that it’s okay, I feel horrible.

Sharon: Recently I just decided that I’m not stealing time, I’m just reclaiming my time. So for my birthday I went away for the weekend all by myself and it was incredible. Before, it was all about them. Now I feel that I can’t be a good mother if I’m not a good person, and if I’m not giving myself time, I’m not a good person.

Donna: My son actually said to me, “You need to go away because when you come back, you're so happy.”

Kywani: My six-year-old is getting me to do those things. Now, let’s say I want to get a manicure, she and I do that together. That’s our personal time.

Do you ask your families for the help you need?

Paola: From day one in my marriage, we understood that you have to share the responsibility. End of story.

Lynnette: It’s not that it’s hard to ask. Although my husband is good about sharing responsibility, I find that when we talk about the household, men’s brains are just wired differently.

Sharon: I think it’s what they’re taught. My husband’s mother used to do everything for him. But when he became a father, there were adjustments we had to make. I had to tell him at times, “I can’t do this all myself.”

Kywani: My mother-in-law had three boys, and she said to me from day one, “Don’t spoil them like I did.” She’s been my backbone, pushing me to do what I need.

Lynnette: As women, we want a man to think like us, but he does things his own way, not the way we’d do it. I say just live with it. I ask myself, “Is it really important?” If it is, I’ll press. The other stuff I let go. It helps me be more peaceful with myself.

A lot of you seem to be making it work.

Sharon: It’s all about the balance you achieve in your home; what you put into the precious hours you have that makes a big difference. Now I see the fruits of that thinking: My child hasn’t suffered for my being a working mom. That’s because when I’m with her, I’m all hers.

Carolyn: I think that peace and balance come from learning to let go and being more organized.

Paola: I think so too. If I was worried too much about how things were done, it wouldn’t work.

What advice would you give other moms about getting time for yourself?

Sharon: Simplify your life. When you understand that it’s okay to let certain things go, it frees you to have more fun and not have so much stress and tension.

Terry: Organization is key. You need to have a plan. Period. If your house is organized, you can stay focused better.

Kywani: We get through the days by delegating responsibilities. My parents, my husband, his parents, we all have certain days to do things. And it helps things move along more smoothly.

Lynnette: If you want time for yourself, make sure you say that. If they don’t hear it the first time, say it again until they get the message.

Carolyn: We had to take a trip, my husband and I, just the two of us, and remember who we were. It was really good for me to see that my parents could care for my child.

Sally-Anne: Remember that you can be clean, but you don’t have to be perfect all the time. Find support with others.

Marian: That’s right. Talking with others helps. It’s good to know what other moms are going through.

Paola: Ultimately you’ve got to be just a little selfish — whether it’s for half an hour, an hour or half a day. The world will not come to an end.

What’s your typical day like?

Donna: I get up at 5 a.m. and get ready for work. I get my son up at six and my daughter at seven, then try to leave the house around 7:30.

Carolyn: We had an arrangement where my husband and I would trade off nights caring for our child. But having a second child just blew the equation. Now I’m getting up at five.

Marian: I cut my hair short because I didn’t have time to take even 15 minutes to blow it out.

Terry: That gets easier as your kids get older. It did for me.

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