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Expert Advice — Cut the Chaos: Five Momisms for Every Situation
Never–fail wisdom, from one mom to another
By Lian Dolan
When I was growing up, my mother had a stockpile of handy phrases that she used repeatedly with my seven siblings and me. Eight kids, one mom — she needed ready–to–use one–liners! These momisms got us up, out the door, and on our way in the world. I still think of them when I need motivation or encouragement. I only have two kids, but I find myself repeating these momisms with frequency to cut the chaos in my life.
First things first. Wondering where to start on the never–ending to–do list at home or the office? Here’s where you start: with the first thing. It might be making coffee or bathing the children before moving on to tackle the mess in the kitchen. But I’ve found that once I check that first thing off my list, the rest of the items begin to fall into place. Try this with kids overwhelmed by homework: Gotta sharpen the pencils before you can do the math!
You’ll be fine, dear. My mother would toss out this sentence whenever we were starting a new school, job or social experience like camp. No over–the–top self–esteem message here. My mother didn’t promise that we’d be “fabulous” or “the best ever,” just “fine.” Positive and reasonable. That’s the kind of reassurance kids need.
Get up and get going. This is the perfect phrase to use when the kids come down with the Monday Morning Blues. “Just get up and get going, and you’ll feel much better,” my mother used to say to me. When you’re lying in bed, it’s easy to talk yourself out of anything, especially school. But you do feel better when you get up and get going. Try this on yourself when you lack the mojo to go to the gym!
Can’t you just try to be pleasant? Imagine eight kids around the dinner table, teasing and taunting one another. Those were the times when my mother would pull out this momism. I’ve updated it to “Please try to be nice to each other.” Notice the syntax. You don’t have to be nice to each other, you just have to try to be nice. Again, you’re setting reasonable expectations that can be easily achieved. The effort goes a long way.
You can never have too much ice. This has nothing to do with raising children, but it is a wonderful party–planning tip from my mother. It’s true. You know why? Because ice melts. You will never regret a last–minute ice run before a party.
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Related to that plea for pleasantness from MY mom: "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all!"
My favorite Momism from my own mother is, "If it's free, take it." She first used this at an all-you-can-eat buffet when we were on a five week cross country road trip (without air conditioning in the car!!!), as she stuffed her bag with dinner rolls for later consumption. My sister and I, and now my kids, have found this phrase fits many circumstances and we always get a chuckle when we use it.
t3zoo... I am laughing out loud picturing your mother stuffing dinner rolls into her bag! Lian